An excerpt from the eventual book Common Sense and Whiskey:
When Kent set out to found his tour company he knew Kent Tours lacked that certain magic. But Abercrombie, now, there's a name that spoke of aristocracy, so Mr. Kent's tour company became Abercrombie and Kent. There never was an Abercrombie.
At the entrance to the crater, at 8:00 at night, there's 20 minutes of inane paperwork to be done by Very Important Clerks. I guess it was impossible to put those papers in order beforehand, or handle them more quickly.
Driving in, and traveling to the right along the rim, suddenly Mirja bolted upright. She'd spotted a leopard! Lying right there in the road! It was gone in a flash but it took good eyes to spy one at all, stealthy and rare as they are.
It was difficult to understand where we were. It was dark at the lodge, with only a tiny new moon, and there were no lights out there because there's nothing in the crater. We gazed off into some gaping abyss for a while. Clouds covered the little moon. Just 100%, totally dark. And so we slept.
**
On the drive from Arusha, Godfrey had reached into a nest of papers and handed over the following itinerary:
MURRAY x 2
Date: March, 1995 File: A/RK/MR/3596
FRIDAY :Arrive by KQ643 at Wilson Airport ETA 1355 Hrs then transferred by charters Ex-Wilson Airport to Kilimanjaro Airport. Upon arrival, after completing Immigration and customs formalities you will be met by UTC driver guide and drive to NGORONGORO SOPA LODGE for dinner and overnight.
SATURDAY :After breakfast descend into the crater in a 4-wheel drive vehicle. Soon the dotted black spots you have been seeing from the topturn out to be herds of animals Picnic lunch by the Stream. In the afternoon, after a magic day, you return to NGORONGORO SOPA for dinner and overnight.
SUNDAY :After breakfast descend into the crater in a 4-wheel drive vehicle. Soon the dotted black spots you have been seeing from the topturn out to be herds of animals Picnic lunch by the Stream. In the afternoon, after a magic day, you return to NGORONGORO SOPA for dinner and overnight.
MONDAY :After breakfast descend into the crater in a 4-wheel drive vehicle. Soon the dotted black spots you have been seeing from the topturn out to be herds of animals Picnic lunch by the Stream. In the afternoon, after a magic day, you return to NGORONGORO SOPA for dinner and overnight.
TUESDAY :After breakfast, descend into the crater in a four-wheel drive vehicle for AM crater tour. Then ascend again from the crater. Lunch enroute then drop off Nairobi.
KARIBU TENA TANZANIA
**
Sure enough, Godfrey showed up in the morning with pre-packed picnic lunches. So we rolled on back out to the rim road and turned the other way, down the 610 meters in search of dotted black spots.
Acacia forest formed a thick umbrella for fifteen weaving minutes. The downward slope opened up into a sea of sorghum apples, 3/4 inch yellow balls on bushes. This was rhino food, and only plentiful way up here nowadays - the rhinos had already eaten this year's crop down on the crater floor.
The first animals on the plain - buffalo. First three, then three more, then dozens. You stared at them, they stared right back at you and never missed a chew of grass. They're caricatures of British barristers, these monsters, with wide white horns drooping over their heads like powdered wigs.
The sun half-heartedly challenged the clouds a little after 8:30 and lost and retreated more or less for the day.
A handful of Grant's gazelles. Gold with a black stripe down each flank, black tail and white butt, straight pointy antlers. You'll find these good-looking guys among the herd animals but always they're in the open. They need plenty of room because their only weapon, really, is their speed. They're sort of the deer of the plains.
Here were a few silver-back jackals, low to the ground, skulking, looking guilty. They're scavengers. Like hyenas, unless they're in a pinch they wait for others to do the dirty work. Then they're not far behind.
The last few days' heavy rains had gummed up the little jeep tracks. Muddy ruts, really. We took a rut to the right, over a rise, and found zebra and wildebeest. These guys hang together. Then the helmeted guinea fowl, a scream of a squat, blue-headed bird skittered by low to the ground and positively alarmed to see us and made us all laugh.
Further along, our first lions, three of the 200 hereabouts. Two white females and a brown male, all sprawled asleep. It was mating season and the males were said to be prodigious lovers, so there was a lot of sleeping going on in between. Unless they're feeding young, lions only kill and eat every six days or so, and any killing usually goes on in the early or late hours, so this time of day they’re just marking time.
A few minutes up the road, our first conflict. Three jackals slowly circled a mom and very baby wildebeest. This kid couldn't even walk much more than a wobble yet, and if the jackals could get it separated from its mom, well, even a jackal might kill this thing. Three feet tall and all legs, it cowered under mom. She'd undertake to chase one jackal and the other two would approach. It all ended happily (for the wildebeest family) when the whole mini-herd of a few dozen wildebeests picked up and moved and left the jackals empty-jawed.
We crossed a bored little meandering stream and began down the path on the other side. The stream may have been lethargic just now but it was on the cusp of action. In the rainy season everything gets gummed up down here and the rainy season is just having its first preview now. Godfrey says it's dicey to stay on game drives much past three in the rainy season because you're liable to get stuck in a rut. You can't get out of your land rover to go get help, so if no one happens by, you spend the night in the rut.
Today the path was no more than two black-brown tracks. Big stretches of time passed as you motored along, patiently searching for game, so before you’d realize it your day was done and all the excitement had come in four or five intense short bursts.
Up a small rise on the far side, yellow-billed European storks sat in with a wildebeest pack. These are half-year residents in the crater and all across the Serengeti. They'd soon be starting the long return north for the Euro summer. We stopped for a while to assess the wildebeests.
Godfrey's Land Rover was solid as a rock with two seats, then two seats, then a bench, then storage behind. Bars for the passengers to grab when lurching on the bad roads extended top to bottom at several strategic locations. From the roof a panel popped up and pivoted on four legs about two feet up. That allowed you to stand clear of impediments to viewing (unless you're a basketball player) and shaded from sun and rain, too.
So we stood up in the pop top and surveyed these 60 or 80 wildebeests.
Godfrey reckoned there were 1.6 million wildebeests hereabouts, but as many as 400,000 die in the annual migration. Looks like they replenish themselves that fast, though, with more moms and kids here than anyone else. At first I decided they sounded like sheep on testosterone, then their calls sounded more monosyllabic.
One side of the hill asked a question, "Mmmmmm?"
The other side answered, "Mmmmmm."
Up and down. Tonal. Maybe they were speaking Vietnamese. Godfrey suggested they were introducing themselves by their other name, "Gnuuuu. Gnu. Gnuuuuu."
There's always zebras around wildebeests and here some were, shakin' and twitchin' like neurotics. The zebras got the day one award for most dispirited-looking. The little ones, and some of the bigger ones, have this motley brown fuzz.
Two ostriches, a male (they're black) and a female, (brown) cut solitary profiles way out in the field by themselves.
Up on the rim was significantly cooler than down here. You started off with sweaters but soon enough we were peeling to short sleeves. Godfrey's light blue windbreaker yielded to a purple "Kauai" t-shirt.
Godfrey had keen, trained eyes. Now and again he'd abruptly stop the Land Rover, reach for his binoculars and peer into the distance. Sometimes he'd turn off the engine to steady his view. This was how we found our first two of the only 24 black rhinos in the crater - a mom and baby. This really excited Godfrey even though they were only laying there sleeping. In fact, every time we ever saw rhinos Godfrey stopped and stopped the motor.
The silliest bird in creation came by now, the crown crane, with a bright yellow crane and red wattle. Preposterous. A lone lion pair mated, then both rolled over and slept. We pulled up close and spent nearly 45 minutes with them, close enough to hear the contented thump of mama's tail.
Plovers. Ox peckers, named for what they do. They ride around on the herd animals' backs and keep 'em clean of smaller parasites, a beneficial symbiosis.
Two female lions pacing, on the hunt down near the pond. Birds in concert in the bushes as we pulled up to the little hippo pond and clambered out, the three of us, for a stretch. When the hippos have a conference, they're the loudest dudes in the crater, grunting and snorting and wheezing. One starts and the whole gang chimes in.
We hung out with these guys for twenty minutes, and were about to turn and begin the half hour climb up to the rim and adjourn for some "Pilsner Lagers" when Mirja spotted something way in the distance, off toward the west, over near a pond.
This usually meant a rhino, zebra, wildebeest or lion, since these are the animals big enough to still be little dots across the plain. But this was something different, curiously shaped, taller than the pack animals. But there are no giraffes here.
Godfrey grabbed the binoculars and all at once all three of us gasped, "It's a man!"
Two other jeeps had made the same discovery and all three of us thundered over to save this fool daredevil. Lions, even hyenas could've attacked, but he made it to the nearest arriving jeep. Turns out his jeep was stuck and, getting on towards four as it was, he was afraid his passengers would have to spend the night there if no one else happened by, so he decided to chance it.
**
On the drive from Arusha, Godfrey had reached into a nest of papers and handed over the following itinerary:
MURRAY x 2
Date: March, 1995 File: A/RK/MR/3596
FRIDAY :Arrive by KQ643 at Wilson Airport ETA 1355 Hrs then transferred by charters Ex-Wilson Airport to Kilimanjaro Airport. Upon arrival, after completing Immigration and customs formalities you will be met by UTC driver guide and drive to NGORONGORO SOPA LODGE for dinner and overnight.
SATURDAY :After breakfast descend into the crater in a 4-wheel drive vehicle. Soon the dotted black spots you have been seeing from the topturn out to be herds of animals Picnic lunch by the Stream. In the afternoon, after a magic day, you return to NGORONGORO SOPA for dinner and overnight.
SUNDAY :After breakfast descend into the crater in a 4-wheel drive vehicle. Soon the dotted black spots you have been seeing from the topturn out to be herds of animals Picnic lunch by the Stream. In the afternoon, after a magic day, you return to NGORONGORO SOPA for dinner and overnight.
MONDAY :After breakfast descend into the crater in a 4-wheel drive vehicle. Soon the dotted black spots you have been seeing from the topturn out to be herds of animals Picnic lunch by the Stream. In the afternoon, after a magic day, you return to NGORONGORO SOPA for dinner and overnight.
TUESDAY :After breakfast, descend into the crater in a four-wheel drive vehicle for AM crater tour. Then ascend again from the crater. Lunch enroute then drop off Nairobi.
KARIBU TENA TANZANIA
**
Acacia forest formed a thick umbrella for fifteen weaving minutes. The downward slope opened up into a sea of sorghum apples, 3/4 inch yellow balls on bushes. This was rhino food, and only plentiful way up here nowadays - the rhinos had already eaten this year's crop down on the crater floor.
The first animals on the plain - buffalo. First three, then three more, then dozens. You stared at them, they stared right back at you and never missed a chew of grass. They're caricatures of British barristers, these monsters, with wide white horns drooping over their heads like powdered wigs.
The sun half-heartedly challenged the clouds a little after 8:30 and lost and retreated more or less for the day.
A handful of Grant's gazelles. Gold with a black stripe down each flank, black tail and white butt, straight pointy antlers. You'll find these good-looking guys among the herd animals but always they're in the open. They need plenty of room because their only weapon, really, is their speed. They're sort of the deer of the plains.
Here were a few silver-back jackals, low to the ground, skulking, looking guilty. They're scavengers. Like hyenas, unless they're in a pinch they wait for others to do the dirty work. Then they're not far behind.
The last few days' heavy rains had gummed up the little jeep tracks. Muddy ruts, really. We took a rut to the right, over a rise, and found zebra and wildebeest. These guys hang together. Then the helmeted guinea fowl, a scream of a squat, blue-headed bird skittered by low to the ground and positively alarmed to see us and made us all laugh.
A few minutes up the road, our first conflict. Three jackals slowly circled a mom and very baby wildebeest. This kid couldn't even walk much more than a wobble yet, and if the jackals could get it separated from its mom, well, even a jackal might kill this thing. Three feet tall and all legs, it cowered under mom. She'd undertake to chase one jackal and the other two would approach. It all ended happily (for the wildebeest family) when the whole mini-herd of a few dozen wildebeests picked up and moved and left the jackals empty-jawed.
We crossed a bored little meandering stream and began down the path on the other side. The stream may have been lethargic just now but it was on the cusp of action. In the rainy season everything gets gummed up down here and the rainy season is just having its first preview now. Godfrey says it's dicey to stay on game drives much past three in the rainy season because you're liable to get stuck in a rut. You can't get out of your land rover to go get help, so if no one happens by, you spend the night in the rut.
Today the path was no more than two black-brown tracks. Big stretches of time passed as you motored along, patiently searching for game, so before you’d realize it your day was done and all the excitement had come in four or five intense short bursts.
Godfrey's Land Rover was solid as a rock with two seats, then two seats, then a bench, then storage behind. Bars for the passengers to grab when lurching on the bad roads extended top to bottom at several strategic locations. From the roof a panel popped up and pivoted on four legs about two feet up. That allowed you to stand clear of impediments to viewing (unless you're a basketball player) and shaded from sun and rain, too.
So we stood up in the pop top and surveyed these 60 or 80 wildebeests.
Godfrey reckoned there were 1.6 million wildebeests hereabouts, but as many as 400,000 die in the annual migration. Looks like they replenish themselves that fast, though, with more moms and kids here than anyone else. At first I decided they sounded like sheep on testosterone, then their calls sounded more monosyllabic.
One side of the hill asked a question, "Mmmmmm?"
The other side answered, "Mmmmmm."
Up and down. Tonal. Maybe they were speaking Vietnamese. Godfrey suggested they were introducing themselves by their other name, "Gnuuuu. Gnu. Gnuuuuu."
There's always zebras around wildebeests and here some were, shakin' and twitchin' like neurotics. The zebras got the day one award for most dispirited-looking. The little ones, and some of the bigger ones, have this motley brown fuzz.
Up on the rim was significantly cooler than down here. You started off with sweaters but soon enough we were peeling to short sleeves. Godfrey's light blue windbreaker yielded to a purple "Kauai" t-shirt.
Godfrey had keen, trained eyes. Now and again he'd abruptly stop the Land Rover, reach for his binoculars and peer into the distance. Sometimes he'd turn off the engine to steady his view. This was how we found our first two of the only 24 black rhinos in the crater - a mom and baby. This really excited Godfrey even though they were only laying there sleeping. In fact, every time we ever saw rhinos Godfrey stopped and stopped the motor.
The silliest bird in creation came by now, the crown crane, with a bright yellow crane and red wattle. Preposterous. A lone lion pair mated, then both rolled over and slept. We pulled up close and spent nearly 45 minutes with them, close enough to hear the contented thump of mama's tail.
Plovers. Ox peckers, named for what they do. They ride around on the herd animals' backs and keep 'em clean of smaller parasites, a beneficial symbiosis.
Two female lions pacing, on the hunt down near the pond. Birds in concert in the bushes as we pulled up to the little hippo pond and clambered out, the three of us, for a stretch. When the hippos have a conference, they're the loudest dudes in the crater, grunting and snorting and wheezing. One starts and the whole gang chimes in.
We hung out with these guys for twenty minutes, and were about to turn and begin the half hour climb up to the rim and adjourn for some "Pilsner Lagers" when Mirja spotted something way in the distance, off toward the west, over near a pond.
This usually meant a rhino, zebra, wildebeest or lion, since these are the animals big enough to still be little dots across the plain. But this was something different, curiously shaped, taller than the pack animals. But there are no giraffes here.
Godfrey grabbed the binoculars and all at once all three of us gasped, "It's a man!"
Two other jeeps had made the same discovery and all three of us thundered over to save this fool daredevil. Lions, even hyenas could've attacked, but he made it to the nearest arriving jeep. Turns out his jeep was stuck and, getting on towards four as it was, he was afraid his passengers would have to spend the night there if no one else happened by, so he decided to chance it.
There was a lot of relieved joking and laughter. He pointed to a tiny distant speck that was his jeep. Must've walked at least a couple of kilometers barehanded through lions in the grass. They drove off back to pull out his jeep.
**
Excerpted from the eventual book, Common Sense and Whiskey by Bill Murray.
See photos from Ngorongoro Crater in the Tanzania Gallery at EarthPhotos.com, and see many more African animals in the Animals & Wildlife Gallery at EarthPhotos.com.
Read more of our travel stories here, here, here, here and here.
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